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Shadow

by Zoe Boekbinder

supported by
Aaron J. Shay (he/him)
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Aaron J. Shay (he/him) Absolutely unique arrangements of beautifully honest songs. There's a gentle, sweet tension between the acoustic and the digital, with Boekbinder's voice and words sewing all of the pieces together. Favorite track: Rise.
mycheroni
mycheroni thumbnail
mycheroni I seriously can't get enough of this, excited to hear what comes next!
trackonrepeat
trackonrepeat thumbnail
trackonrepeat The title is quite fitting, as you can tell this album came from a very dark place, but there's still light around the edges, much like a shadow. The mix of doo-wop, folk, and gospel helps take the edge off some of the heavier lyrics, without making the problems addressed feel trivial. Really moving music, especially the last three tracks. Favorite track: Becoming A Nun.
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1.
Haunted 03:36
there were - there were two - there were two versions of you who i - who i'd get - who i'd get i never knew sometimes you were kind but often i'd find a cold rejection, left me hungry for affection and shame on me to mention wanting affection any time - any time i stood anytime i stood my ground you would - you would pout you would pout and put me down instead of apologize, you would criticise you said i should have known i wasn't wanted and though i left you by those words i am haunted you would - you would hang around you would hang around and say you needed - you needed more time you needed more time away you said i wanted too much i never said i didn't get enough i didn't even ask you to come over i didn't even ask you to come over why do i - why do i have to - why do i have to explain touching me, touching me when, touching me when i said no's not a game when men behave the way you did that day you're the first to throw stones to talk breaking bones
2.
Shadow 03:32
we are together in feeling alone unloveable and unknown we are still searching for where we belong it is not where we are or where we came from everything that we do is an effort to escape the sadness we seek distraction and a fraction of light in darkness shadow can't live without light day can't live without night we should remember where light can be found if it burns too bright it's sure to burn out so take rest in darkness knowing it's just a shadow and shadows have edges that meet the glow shadow can't live without light day can't live without night
3.
Mirror 03:40
you are good at telling me how you think i ought to be and i'm always telling you what you ought to do oh we've really thought it through there are rules about the words we say about who can take up how much space and shame on you if you mess up no apology will ever be enough no second chance, the doors are shut maybe we could never measure up though these rules have a reason we are all flawed humans though its often hard to tell we're all tryin hard as hell and we've learned from the times we fell what are we fighting for and who's the enemy in this war we've got our weapons facing in isn't that how hate always wins we're forgetting where we've been there's so much i still have to learn many bridges i won't mean to burn and people that i may demonize mistakes that i will criticize i hope one day i will be wise
4.
what if you'd been told that you were strong? that you could play along that you were born to play this game and you were born to win? what if you'd been told that you couldn't be wrong? that you would always belong what if you'd been told you could take what you need? that you were born to be free no one knows the possibilities what if you'd been told that you would go far? what if you'd been told you could play the guitar? what if you'd been told and you believed you could be what you wanted to be? what if you'd been told that you were smart that everything you made was a work of art that if you tried you would succeed and everyone agreed? no one knows the possibilities what if you'd been told your ideas should be heard that your thoughts should be put into words that everyone appreciates your advice because you are always right what if when you turned on the TV you thought, "hey, the heroes all look like me" what if you'd been told and you believed you could be what you wanted to be? no one knows the possibilities i'm telling you now if its not too late you deserve it all and you shouldn't have to wait if someone tells you that you're unworthy turn around and leave no one knows the possibilities
5.
i'm thinking about becoming a nun i'm tired of being defined i'm feeling confined by your desires i'll light you on fire i am for hire for what you require i'm thinking about becoming a nun old fashioned ways you like to say in a history book you belong my body betrayed you you said it had value but to profit from that is wrong CHORUS i don't like the story you're telling so what if its the only kind that is selling you honor a tradition passed down through history you'll keep getting rich selling our humanity CHORUS
6.
I know you're not somebody's baby no more be mine, honey, it's you that I adore won't you invite me to darken your door i'll take however long you want to love me for so many years ago that i was cruel to you now you and i have been alone for a few isn't it time yet to try again you have not left my mind one single day since then I know you're not somebody's baby no more be mine, honey, it's you that I adore won't you invite me to darken your door i'll take however long you want to love me for haven't you paid me back with all this waiting what must i do to prove that i have been changing i've never owned a feeling so strong i've never known my heart to ache so long I know you're not somebody's baby no more be mine, honey, it's you that I adore won't you invite me to darken your door i'll take however long you want to love me for
7.
all the time i spent wondering what you were thinking you spent all that time drinkin so anything you thought you quickly forgot its easy to outdo my low expectations of you the bar is set so low, you act like you know you get away with treating me so because after i go there will be one to follow its easy to outdo my low expectations of you they say you're a good one and me i'm no fun you play games i turn and run we aleady know who won i forfeit i'm done its easy to outdo my low expectations of you i expect you to be mean, to treat me disrespectfully with all the world you've seen you should know you should not be so awfully mean its easy to outdo my low expectations of you all the time i spent wondering what you were thinking you spent all that time drinkin so anything you thought you quickly forgot its easy to outdo my low expectations of you
8.
you keep on fooling me with all your stories about the future and forever when you'll always be there for me what about now? what about now? where are you? there are things you'd rather do your love's not what i need your love is not enough your love's not what i seek your love's not real love your love is loud but weak your love's not fooling me your love's not what i need what does it matter now the world's about to end who cares about my failed romance when we have rights and bodies to defend since we are under attack, i need to know whose got my back your love's not what i need your love is not enough your love's not what i seek your love's not real love your love is loud but weak your love's not fooling me your love's not what i need those men up on their thrones want to pick the meat from our bones they want to keep our bodies under lock and key so right now, right now more than ever, we've got to be the solid ground for each other your love's not what i need your love is not enough your love's not what i seek your love's not real love your love is loud but weak your love's not fooling me your love's not what i need
9.
10.
11.
Rise 02:54
no one should live inside a cage i don't believe it keeps us safe darling it's all about money nothing is too precious honey it's all about the money, honey rise laying bodies like bricks, building spires somebody's building empires leaving behind a trail of fire from the ash rises a choir rises a choir rise muffled voices through the wall high price paid for a phone call we amplify as we multiply so listen as the silence dies hear the choir rise rise

about

This album is dedicated to Sophia - I love you always and I wish I could have said goodbye.

These songs were written during the darkest times in my life so far. I lost a friend who was more like family - more like a home. I lost my grandfather, a holocaust survivor, whose stories have meant so much to me. I was broken open and apart. I have messed up. I have hurt people and been hurt. Through this, I have learned how strong I am. I have been reminded that darkness is a shadow and it has edges. I have learned to value my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. I have learned to forgive faults in myself and people around me. I have learned to let go. I have started to learn to trust myself. I have lost and found myself in music again. Songs are my way. Thank you for opening your ears.


Deepest thanks to Jeremiah Daniels, Claire LaVelle, Wanhee Chung, Nathalie Boisard-Beudin, Stefan Linden, Sarah Sullivan, Lindsay Janasiak, niceLena, Christopher Legg, Mac Wubben, Charles Roussel, Michael Barnstijn, Ashley Kurtz, Nick Schultz, Lisa Waters, Shenandoah Davis, Kate Hanrahan, Julia Ross, Alex Boekbinder, Myles Boisen, Ani DiFranco, Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley, Shonda and Angel, the degenderettes, The Chanterelles, all my sea creatures, and everyone who helped make this album.

credits

released November 24, 2018

all songs written and performed by Zoe Boekbinder
guitar played by Zoe Boekbinder except on Low Expectations (played by Myles Boisen)
drums played by Jonathan Arceneaux
bass played by Justin Peake
harmony vocals:
What Have I Done? by Julie Odell
Shadow by Dayna Kurtz
all other backing vocals by Sabine McCalla, Erin Wilson, Bear Hebert, Missa, Shonda Noil, Dayna Kurtz, S. Donnelly, M Collin Miles, Alex Boekbinder, and Zoe Boekbinder
beats on Possibilities and Not What I Need by Paul Kang
all other instruments played by Zoe Boekbinder and Mike Napolitano
recorded and mixed by Mike Napolitano
mastered by Myles Boisen
produced by Zoe Boekbinder and Mike Napolitano
cover tintype by Meg Turner
design by Tim Smith

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Zoe Boekbinder New Orleans, Louisiana

Nomadic at heart and a creator at their core, Zoe Boekbinder (they/them) was born on a farm into a family of four children. While music wasn't very present in their upbringing, Boekbinder recalls some of their first memories as making up songs. For them, music is as natural and as necessary as breath. Songwriting has become their resistance language. ... more

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